Why is confidence so important?
Confidence is not something we’re born with but it can be nurtured and developed over time. Studies have shown that children with higher confidence are more willing to learn, challenge themselves more often and have better resilience in the face of difficult transitions like changing schools. In fact, confidence has been quoted as the number one predictor of academic achievement. Children who have higher self confidence make better choices and push harder to reach their goals. They are more likely to be happy, successful and emotionally healthly. When we work to increase confidence we give children the space to believe that they have the potential to do well and also reduce their fear of failure. Along the pathway to success they will develop autonomy and gain confidence in their own decisions and judgements.
So how can we do this in meaningful ways?
Be genuine. Praise sincerely and specifically. Use statements such as: ‘I really liked it when you…. I really liked how you…….. You did that so well, can you show me how to do it?’
Celebrate small victories along the way towards success. Positively reinforce that you see their effort as well as the end result. ‘ I can see you’re trying really hard to ….’ Praise the process they have undertaken to get to a particular place. What organisational skills did they use? How did they persevere? This helps your child to see the value in their actions and choices that helped them to succeed and not to focus just on what they see as talent or skills.
Create opportunities for success tailored to your child’s individual learning style or interests. If your child learns best through doing, use Lego bricks with words on to help them ‘build’ a sentence! If they love interactivity and games then turn troublesome learning points into something fun! Play a handwriting ‘4 in a row game’ where they must fill each square for their row with a letter they are struggling to form correctly.
Encourage independence. Give choices and let your child be in charge of decision-making sometimes. This fosters critical thinking skills. Use cuddly toys for them to ‘teach’ a concept to. Give age appropriate responsibility within the daily routine.
Give meaningful, specific feedback. I sometimes use 3 stars and a wish when teaching: always starting with 3 things I loved about their work and then one thing I wish for them to improve on.
Develop a growth mindset. Help your child to see challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than stumbling blocks. Challenge a fixed mindset of ‘ I’m not good at…’ Teach your child that they can learn and improved their abilities and skills over time. Teach them to add the word ‘yet’ to that. ‘ I can’t do this yet…’ or ‘ I’m not good at this yet ….’ How can you help them with the next steps? Do they need another strategy? Do they need to keep practising? Do they need a bit more time? Encourage curiosity and exploration. Emphasize the importance of patience and persistence.
Be a good role model. Show them it is ok to make mistakes. You make mistakes and occasionally fail. Ask them to help you solve the problem and work out what to do to fix it. Use failure as an opportunity. Making mistakes is how we learn best. Show them you’re still willing to try new things and learn new skills.
Promote effective communication. Give your child the tools to be able to communicate well. Teach them how to express their feelings and ask for help. Ensure they feel valued and listened to. Show you care. These life skills are so important for building confidence and positive social connection with others.
Confidence is not something we are born with. It can be nurtured and developed over time. Let’s show children that we have their best interests at heart.